Wednesday, March 7, 2012
good-bye
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
ganina
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
happy. :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
blagadag! lazy ass!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
sure ko?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
*sigh
sleep
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
black :(
Saturday, December 11, 2010
tired much
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
hey! :(
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
unsa man jud?
Thursday, August 19, 2010
set you free - mymp
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
love him
LOVE – it is everywhere and it is in every one of us.
Loving has become my habit or even my way of life. I cannot live without it. When I love, I love passionately, I love deeply that’s why when I get hurt because of it, it would feel like it’s the end of everything to me. I don’t know, it’s just the way I am. I find it hard for me to control my feelings when it comes to it. I don’t know how to love without giving my all, without giving a hundred percent. That’s why when I lose it, I would feel like I have lost everything. But you know what? After meeting this man, I was slowly learning how to balance things and feelings. I learned a lot from him and I am still learning even more right now. Gradually, I am finding my way back to the right path. He has changed me. And I mean, A LOT! He taught me more and more about life and living and loving. He has given me the right direction that no one ever did. And even though I know he doesn’t feel the same, I actually don’t care.
before, when someone would say “when you love, you don’t ask for any thing in return”, and I was like-“that’s just not fair!”.. but hey! Look at me now? I am happy even if I know he doesn’t love me. He cares for me! That’s all that matters to me now… I love him. I’m happy loving him. And I know that it isn’t selfishness. I thank God so much for giving me a friend and a person to love. Maybe God gave him to me, because He knows that I could have my life back if I’d ever meet him. And as always, God never fails. J thank you oh dear Lord so much! I will always have my faith in you!
just sad
There are some things in your life, that no matter how you try to conceal it, you can’t. Feelings you can’t hide, Tears that couldn’t help but fall. Broken hearts that was never mended, sadness, emptiness? It’ll show, no matter how you try to deny it.
You have to shout it out if you must. Show it off until it’s gone.
I wish it’ll all be that easy to do.
The hardest part is, when you can’t find any other way, but to cry and keep everything by yourself. It’s a fact that every one of us, should know how to let go and move on no matter how painful it is, because the more you hold on to it, the more it’ll hurt.
Funny is that, you cannot teach your heart to love the ones who love you. You always end up loving someone who doesn’t feel the same- ironic.
The only thing that has kept me going is the faith, that somehow, someday, I’ll have my turn. Being cynical about this kind of situation wouldn’t help you get through it. Sometimes, all you gotta need is to keep even the tiniest hope in your veins in order to survive.
Friday, June 4, 2010
friends.. for keeps :)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
crap!!!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
the reply :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
uncertainties
It seems so real that I cried
When you've touched me
You’re my angel
And you've given me wings
And I fly away with you wherever you go
Cause you filled my heart and you captured my soul
And baby i want you to know
CHORUS:
If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
And I know there's a million stars between us
But that won't stop my longing
To hold you and to kiss you
How I love you
And I'll find my way to you wherever you are
Coz you're in my soul and you've got my heart
And your love will carry me on
CHORUS:
If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
Here in my arms,were you should be
Cause your love that makes me believe
That nothing or no one can tear us apart cause baby your in my heart
CHORUS:
If there's one thing in this world that I know is true
It's the love that I feel when I'm thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I'll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
Sunday, January 31, 2010
anxiety
Monday, January 18, 2010
hmmm? :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
just woke up.
jst before i go to sleep :)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
SOS
God! i badly need help...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
virgil and i had a serious convo regarding our relationship.. we fight over petty things,making it a big deal which leads to a more complicated situation.. for 9 months that we've been together, still we haven't able to adjust to each other.. he's new at something like this, you know, this kind of serious type of relationship.. we both don't know how to work things out.. i don't know, maybe i'm just too selfish, too possesive.. haaay not healthy! grrr you know, i think we won't last long together because none of us is willing to stoop down our pride for our relationship's sake. haay that'd be sad :( i don't ecpext anything anymore on this relationship. i'm almost tired, and there were several times that i really gave up.. i broke up with him,and i was like so amazed when he didn't agree with me on that because as far as i know, he's the kind of guy who always breaks up with his gf's before, but not with me? i don't know.. i felt flattered though, and glad that i am not one of those girls he didn't love.. and that's according to him. he'd always tell me that i'm his first love and i believe him.. :) i have nothing against him because he really loves me, it's just that, i dont know how to understand him.. i can't.. okay. the problem's with me. GAGA! sometimes, i wanna feel numb because i don't want to feel all these unwanted feelings. unneccessary feelings towards his actions because he's not doing anything illegal,in fact, he's so honest.. he'd always tell me where he'd go, who he's with and all that..haaay i'm being pathetic and paranoid! what's wrong with me? i don't want this. gahd! i love him so much and i'm so scared that i might just lose him because of my unwanted attitudes. huhu help! badly need help! i have a lot more to share next time.. i'm getting so sleepy now so 'kay! enough with the drama. i need to go to bed now. good night. :(
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
sentiments
i feel like missing him sometimes... wishing and hoping that we can be good friends... i wanna get close with him, again(not the close2x like be together again as a couple thing ha hehe)... but, you know, living a separate life with him has somehow helped us to be happy...
i wanna talk to him again because i feel like there are so many things i wanna apologize for... tsktsk..but still, i have no regrets.. i'm even glad he's happy now... really...
Monday, September 7, 2009
MAYBE...
i am bothered and confused with what i'm feeling this past few days and even until awhile ago:(
it all started when i saw THEIR picture.. (bryan and his current girlfriend) .. i know i'm not supposed to feel this way because i was the one who chose to broke up with him, i was the one who first got into another relationship after our break up, i should not be affected. but why am i feeling this way? have i made the wrong decision? or am i just being and feeling selfish again?! ugh!
i was okay na eh! then this picture showed up! and i was so damn "affected" again...
Me and bryan.. we were on a roller coaster ride.. we've been through worsts and bliss.. we've been through a lot and he showed me things i never knew i could see.. i've learned a lot about life because of him and i can't deny that... i owe him a lot... but i can't consider that a reason on why i am still having this heavy feeling inside me everytime i think about him with his girl!
i should be over him long time ago... i don't want this feeling... i feel guilty everytime i get hurt because of bryan... i feel guilty because i already have my boyfriend and he loves me... he always try to make me happy. and i am happy with him. he's the best thing in my life right now.. i don't wanna hurt him..
maybe i am just missing the old times with bryan.. i know, i don't love him now as before.. no! i don't love him anymore.. but i care for him still.. ugh! whatever! i just want him out of my intestine! LOLx.. haaay
i miss the way i used to love him.. :) and that i know, is for sure...
maybe. i could not love anyone right now as much as i loved bryan.. maybe this is why i can't let go of those feelings... MAYBE... and i hope that someday, i can be with someone i can love much much more than i used to loved bryan...
honestly, right now, i can only smile(but with teary eyes) everytime i remember the things that used to be... it was a great feeling eh... one that you'll miss when you can't feel it anymore... pareha karon.. hehe
pamawi:
PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LOVE VIRGIL AS MUCH AS I USED TO LOVED BRYAN, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LOVE VIRGIL ANY LESS... we're stil on the process of developing/nourturing our feelings man gud hehe... bag-o lang mi.. so, we really can't say... basin diay, the person that i've been waiting for is the same person i am with right now dba?...
life is unpredictable.. we don't know what's ahead of us..
Monday, August 31, 2009
i love you big time!
It was not an accident why we met. It is already written and planned.
I’ve always asked God to grant me happiness and contentment in life. I wasn’t so sure on how and when God will answer those prayers. It was okay for me to wait for those things to arrive. I didn’t look for it. I just waited. Patiently… then you came. And I was certain. YOU are the answer to my prayers…
You listen to me. You accepted all of me. My imperfections and flaws don’t matter to you. You care for me so much. You take care of me. You love me. What more could I ask for…?
You’ve become my best friend. Someone I can call a real partner. You are someone so special, so important. You are someone worth living for.
You make me smile, you make me laugh, you can make me real mad, and you can make me feel so sad. What ever it is that you do to me, you know I will always love you.
I love you! So much… and I could live this way my whole life… I love you!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
confusions, sadness and churva churva tsktsk
i am happy right now.. not so sure if i'm happier now than before, but at least i am happy.. right? hehe
it was US before.. now? it's about THEM.. :) he has moved on, and i am happy for him.. (no bitterness involved) HAHA
oh well! naa naman sad koy akoa.. :) we often fight over petty things but that's nothing compared to all the happiness he brings.. CHAR :))
(okay ra akong pag deny sa sakit? okay ra ang drama ug mga rason?HAHA btaw, i am kindah hurt, but you know, what is.. initial reaction is initial reaction..) hehehe :) bahala na! haha
Saturday, June 20, 2009
i wish..
how can you love someone so much but not liking the situation, the feeling, on how it grows so much in each and everyday that you're together?
i am afraid of what is happening. i am so scared to fall so much in love with him..
i don't want another broken heart, i don't want another heart ache.
i know I've been here so many times already.
problem with me is i never get used to this.
it will always feel like it's something new,when i know for a fact that it's not.
i could not anymore fathom this situation.
i wish i could teach my heart not to fall too much.
"hey! you should only love him up to there. you are not allowed to exceed"
i wish i could whisper that to my heart,and the heart would only follow what i want.
i love him,no doubt about it.
it's just that,i don't want to disappoint myself if ever things wont work out anymore..
I'm too selfish to think of this kind of possibilities i know,
i only want a normal relationship, "uyab-uyab lang sa, dili mag binuang pero dili sad kaayo seryoso" ana lang gud.. aron wala kaayo problema ba.. haay!
i wish i'm somebody, that i am another person, someone a little numb when it comes to love. i really wish i am someone like that...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
because he loves me...
i always find myself smiling lately.. yes! i am happy. and no words can ever explain how much happiness I'm feeling..
having him is like having everything.. you couldn't ask for anything else, because, he is more than enough.. :)
Lucky, you think? oh no! i'd rather say I'm BLESSED... :)
i am not scared of what it is that will happen after all this bliss.. i am not afraid of what life could bring.. not anymore.. Because i know. he'll be with me..
times when I'm with him, i just want the clock to stop ticking.. i want the world to stop spinning, because i only wanna be with him..
he takes all my worries away.. tears could never even attempt to run down my cheeks because they know that there's someone who'd wipe them out even before they start to fall..
i want to live this way.. to live life with him.. it's all i want.. and he's all i need..
Sunday, May 24, 2009
good-bye's are not the end... :(
we've been together in a relationship for almost 2 years(2 years this june,supposed to be).. and with that time that we had, we have been through a LOT. we've been through worsts.. oh! i'm goin' to rephrase that.. I've been through worst.. you might wanna ask why?... yeah! we had lots and lots of problems and honestly, i was the only one who strived hard to have those problems solved.. and guess what? i just realized that awhile ago :( ...
yeah yeah! of course he loved me, but he is just not that type of guy who'll help you get through to anything that comes in your way.. he is the kind that would just let you have it all in your own way until it gets solved.. we've gotten that far in our relationship, basically, because i fought for it.. ALONE! :(
untill one day, i got tired.. i had enough.. and i just don't feel like i still wanna try because, i just realized that; WE are partners.. we should be helping each other, be with each other specially during tough times.. but that never happened.. and that pains me... i denied the pain i felt all this time because i thought it could help.. but i was wrong.. and that made the wound worst.. it cuts deeper and deeper everytime.. and so i gave up..
it's never that easy to forget everything.. it didn't made me any stronger, it made me weaker instead..
those tears i shed, those laughters, those smiles, will be carved for always in my heart..
i'm sorry it didn't work out for us.. you will never be forgotten because you made great changes in my life.. and i owe you for that..
i'm so sorry..
thank you for everything....
=( =( =(
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
happiness in a while...
There’s a lot to say...
There are so many things that's going on... I am dumb-founded (exaggeratedly true)... My head's spinning like a yo-yo... My heart beats so fast then so slow... Does it always have to be this way..?(I asked myself)... I found no answers... there was only silence... I have disappointed myself as much as i disappointed them (those people who I think who cares)… I chose to believe on the other side without any assurance if it'll bring me good or not... I took a chance... I hope it'll be just worth it... I am happy... I don't know how long will this happiness would last... it may end up too soon but at least, it made me happy... it's not being selfish... I just realized that I need to be happy even just for a little while... This might just hurt me after but I know I’ll have no regrets... POINT IS? : I found HAPPINESS...
Stupidity as you might call it… fact is? I DON’T CARE…
People will never stop making gossip and issues about everyone else… and that’s the saddest truth ever… they’ll never stop pointing things against you… you just have to play their games… they’ll only stop because of either they are already tired or you won… but the best thing to do is to let them get tired of their own dramas… everything has its endings… and the best part is? Yeah you might fail, but you will learn…
Friday, January 2, 2009
the break up :((
how unlucky i am to begin this year with the saddest story.. me and bryan? i guess we're done.. i guess i am giving up, not that i am weak, but because, i have no more reason to fight anymore. he's leaving me behind. and i am not that stupid to wait for nothing. i am not dumb to keep on holding on when it is all clear enough that i am not important to him. he don't need me. he doesn't love me anymore. it hurts. really. but i don't wanna beg ANYMORE. i'm too tired. guess i had enough. i hope i can move on. i still love him so much. but that doesn't matter to him. :(( i hope i can handle this. i hope it will all get better soon. i'm not good in moving :((
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
alive? lifeless maybe :(
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
sad christmas :(
haay how i wish i'd be able to spend it with bryan.. like before :(
yah yah, i know it's not possible.. he'll be home.. but not this christmas..
i'm feeling so lonely and sad.. :( never felt this kind of sadness before, swear!
i woke up with an aching heart. and i mean, physical pain. i woke up almost crying.. i'm so sad.. maybe i'm just missing him terribly :(
this isn't good but i need to face this!
on the brighter side..
i'm still thankful because we're ok now. :)
we were like fighting for almost a week straight and thank God the war's over..
:) for now maybe HAHA
ok. he loves me! =p i know right? :))
but i love him more. i swear i love you more than anything..