Monday, September 7, 2009

MAYBE...

okay! enough with all these pretensions!

i am bothered and confused with what i'm feeling this past few days and even until awhile ago:(

it all started when i saw THEIR picture.. (bryan and his current girlfriend) .. i know i'm not supposed to feel this way because i was the one who chose to broke up with him, i was the one who first got into another relationship after our break up, i should not be affected. but why am i feeling this way? have i made the wrong decision? or am i just being and feeling selfish again?! ugh!

i was okay na eh! then this picture showed up! and i was so damn "affected" again...

Me and bryan.. we were on a roller coaster ride.. we've been through worsts and bliss.. we've been through a lot and he showed me things i never knew i could see.. i've learned a lot about life because of him and i can't deny that... i owe him a lot... but i can't consider that a reason on why i am still having this heavy feeling inside me everytime i think about him with his girl!

i should be over him long time ago... i don't want this feeling... i feel guilty everytime i get hurt because of bryan... i feel guilty because i already have my boyfriend and he loves me... he always try to make me happy. and i am happy with him. he's the best thing in my life right now.. i don't wanna hurt him..

maybe i am just missing the old times with bryan.. i know, i don't love him now as before.. no! i don't love him anymore.. but i care for him still.. ugh! whatever! i just want him out of my intestine! LOLx.. haaay

i miss the way i used to love him.. :) and that i know, is for sure...

maybe. i could not love anyone right now as much as i loved bryan.. maybe this is why i can't let go of those feelings... MAYBE... and i hope that someday, i can be with someone i can love much much more than i used to loved bryan...

honestly, right now, i can only smile(but with teary eyes) everytime i remember the things that used to be... it was a great feeling eh... one that you'll miss when you can't feel it anymore... pareha karon.. hehe

pamawi:

PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LOVE VIRGIL AS MUCH AS I USED TO LOVED BRYAN, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LOVE VIRGIL ANY LESS... we're stil on the process of developing/nourturing our feelings man gud hehe... bag-o lang mi.. so, we really can't say... basin diay, the person that i've been waiting for is the same person i am with right now dba?...

life is unpredictable.. we don't know what's ahead of us..