Monday, March 21, 2011

happy. :)

simple things from someone you love could mean the world to you :)

i hated how all these changes are coming so drastically,particularly in our relationship. i hate the distance. i hate missing him. i hate my negative thoughts about what he's always up to. i hate how i make him feel like i don't trust him at times. yeah, because we're miles apart and it's just killing me not being with him like how it used to.

the lonesomeness is just way too painful whenever i'm alone in my room and could think of just wanting to always be with him everyday of my life. i wanna spend all my time being with him(which i know won't be possible to happen now or anytime soon because he has to work).

last night was never different from all of the past nights without him.

but what he did last night has just blown me off. my tears fell, i couldn't helped it. i was so happy. he did something so great. he did something no one else ever did, really. it made me love him more. i swear!

he may never be that handsome or tall or intelligent. he's not perfect i know, but he's the right one for me,for now.

he has done a lot for me and i couldn't thank him enough for everything. i know, i can feel it, he loves me so much and i am so blessed to have someone who loves me this way. i really couldn't ask for anything more right now..

You're still so good to me Lord. despite who and what i am, you're always here for me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

blagadag! lazy ass!!

sometimes you can't help but ask yourself--- "why me?" or "why him?"

i was deeply in love with this guy but unfortunately, he doesn't feel the same for me. For him, I am just a "FRIEND". Blame me for being so stupid. But in spite of that FACT, i continued loving him, loving him and just loving him. I was so deaf and blind about the TRUTH because i believed that "when you love someone, you must fight for that love", and so i did. The possibilities of getting hurt and getting DUMPED never crossed my mind. I was so positive about everything. I was contented just by loving him and being there for him... as a friend.

But of course! Life can be cruel at times. and so the worst thing happened.

Suddenly, he stopped caring. he stopped needing me. That was it? it's not fair!!! But i could never blame him... I tried to reach out, but nothing happened. and the least thing i did? i just cried. i cried and i cried hoping that when the tears would stop, the pain would stop as well. But it didn't.

There i was. lonesome and lonely. stressed and depressed.

It was so hard for me to move on because I've given him a lot :( and what made it the hardest? oh well... (for you to find out)...

i thought it was the end. i wanted to be dead. it was undoubtedly, the BIGGEST and the HARDEST trouble I've ever gotten into. ooops! I'm sorry but i don't want to relive the feeling i had during those times. so.......... :P

(making it short)

i suffered BIGTIME!... i tried to act strong, i had to be strong.
(i don't want any DRAMA right now... so i'll skip this part right here LOL)

:) WHAT MATTERS NOW IS THAT I'M GOOD AND WE'RE ALL GOOD. ayt?HAHA

lot's of things had happen lately in my life, and up until now, i still can't believe how i surpassed'em all. :) but i don't want to question anymore. :) i'm just so thankful i was able to handle everything. thank you so much Lord. :)

(i ruined that portion right there. oh! i'm so sorry, it's just that, all of a sudden i feel LAAAAZZZZYYYY HAHAHA)