Sunday, January 31, 2010

anxiety

hey there my dearest! i missed you! haha oh well, i miss blogging so here i am :)

let me start it with a *sigh! haaaay :( i don't understand why i feel this way.. he's been in my mind for like what? a week maybe.. he. i mean, bryan. tsk. why can't i get over him...this is driving me insane. this is just so wrong. you know what? there were i guess, two or three nights that i cried because i missed him? i don't know. who can tell? *sigh! again! this is stressing me out. i came to a point when i started comparing the differences between bryan and virgil. it's just so fukcin' wrong! i'm not myself lately, or am i? GAHD!!
to tell you the truth, i have messaged him, i greeted him because it was his birthday last 18th. and i was so fukcin' anxious that he's not replyin'.. only to know that he's not in washington but in calif right now. so yeah, that explains why he hasn't replied. i am, yes! waiting for a reply. i look desperate! goodness!! but the hell i care! this is what i want now. i am not after anything.. i am only doing this because, i miss the feeling of having him. i am not expecting for anything. i am not doing this to have him back.. it's not like that and i don't even think that would be a great idea. i just want to feel that he's not gone.. like, he's still here.. for me.. because he has been my bestfriend.. he was once my best friend :(

if ever virgil could read this, maybe he'll get angry or upset but know what? he shouldn't feel that way because i love him and i wont do anything that could make him mad.. i'm just trying to burst out what i feel because i can't talk with this kind of stuffs with virgil.. right? and i don't wanna share this things to anyone because, i don't want to hahaha haaay i just hope and pray that everything will be fine...

God is good.i know. :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

hmmm? :)

i'm the only one in the house who's still awake.. it's late already and i have this insomnia again.. :) i was checking on my Facebook and twitter, read some random things about random friends and random people when i suddenly felt random :) weird,eh?
hmm i've reaed several tweets of some people on how they enjoyed much of their day and how busy they are, and i thought, how i wanted to have a busy and happy life like them.. i mean, i want it to happen like, always.. :) haha well, i somehow i feel tired already of not having to do much fun stuffs, i always worry about something and i think i'm focusing too much on one thing that i never get to enjoy the rest of what i have.. get me? i hope you do. haha
i miss the life i used to have.. less worries,just pure fun! haaay i wish i could get to have that life again. it's really all up to me,ayt? problem is, i don't know how to begin. :) haha
right now, it's all i wanna do. i wanna have fun fun fun. i want happiness.. and, i'll try to start to live like that first thing tomorrow :) haha

that's all for now :) ciao! :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

just woke up.

i just woke up.. and i don't feel well..physically and emotionally.. i'm kind if pissed because until now, virgil's still not answering my calls and texts.. i don't want to start a fight again but the hell! he should keep his promises! i haven't eaten anything today and i'm feeling really really hungry now but i don't wanna go out of this room until i get a reply from him. :) haha i'm punishing myself! gahd! my eyes are hurting because i slept soo late. oh! i slept so early haha because i went to sleep 5am this morning,so yea! that's early. haha and plus! i haven't take shower yet so i think i already smell awful haha imma do that later 'coz i'm still not in the mood to MOVE =)

arayt! i'm feelin' lazy to think and type so, latez!

jst before i go to sleep :)

let me just blog since i can't sleep yet. i'm really not feeling sleepy at all. it's already 4 Am and here i am, still facing my laptop. i miss my babo.. he went home but he'll be back here tomorrow :) i'm always missing him.. i'm really so attached to him.. tsk. i don't know if that's a good thing, all i know is that i feel so right everytime i'm with him. *smile. 'kay, so since i already started it, imma tell you everything about my boyfriend now.

he's full name's Virgil dela Cruz Chiong. 3rd son of mr. perferio chiong and henrieta chiong. has 3 siblings,namely; Christiaan chiong, paul vincent chiong and andrew chiong.
birthdate: dec. 19, 1988. he's now 21 years old. he lives in brgy. sta. cruz, tangub city..
:)) okay,

he's my one and only love :) haha we often get into small fights because, we're both intelligent hahaha no.. we fight a lot because non of us is willing to give up something for our relationship. when i say give up something,i mean, to give up the things that we have used to had or the things that we used to experience on both our previous relationship slash partners. sad i know. but slowly, we're working on things now..

virgil:
used to have a "wala-lang-relationship"
quennie:
"been through a series of serious relationship"

he's new at something so familiar to me
i'm new at something so familiar to him..

where do we go from here? hmmm

we are dealing on this. we know, things will get better soon. this sin't such a big big big deal you know, it's just that fighting over the same things? it's very tiring.. so, yah!

i'm happy that he's putting so much effort for our relationship.. i know he loves me.. it shows, and i'm just so glad he does.. he's the best person i know.. nothing compares to him. no one. that's why i love him. and i'm loving him for always.... :)

'til next time. babush for now, blog! haha