alive? lifeless maybe :(

there are a lot of things in my mind lately which made me feel anxious.. it has been bothering me all the while and i couldn't help but worry.. i am not able to mingle with people lately, haven't been exposed to the sun for quite a while, never eaten right, and i am concentrating much on my misfortunes and i realized how lifeless i become.. i wasn't aware of my being "DEAD", until a friend, without any hesitations,spoke of truth and told me how my ACTS of DESPERATION becomes visible/noticeable enough and how it dominates my life(as if i still have a life). *Sigh. it hurts to know the truth but i have to face it.okay.. i just can't act normally knowing that i am carrying tons and tons of this sh*t! i am trying but i guess i need a little more *PUSH* on that part.. i just don't have the will to fight anymore.. i am gradually losing every bit of hope that's left.. i am too exhausted.. i wanna give up but i don't see it as a solution, not even an option.. i wanna go on and continue, but how? i don't even know where to begin.. i feel like i am life-deprived..