i wish..

i'm bothered...

how can you love someone so much but not liking the situation, the feeling, on how it grows so much in each and everyday that you're together?

i am afraid of what is happening. i am so scared to fall so much in love with him..
i don't want another broken heart, i don't want another heart ache.

i know I've been here so many times already.
problem with me is i never get used to this.
it will always feel like it's something new,when i know for a fact that it's not.

i could not anymore fathom this situation.
i wish i could teach my heart not to fall too much.
"hey! you should only love him up to there. you are not allowed to exceed"
i wish i could whisper that to my heart,and the heart would only follow what i want.

i love him,no doubt about it.
it's just that,i don't want to disappoint myself if ever things wont work out anymore..
I'm too selfish to think of this kind of possibilities i know,
i only want a normal relationship, "uyab-uyab lang sa, dili mag binuang pero dili sad kaayo seryoso" ana lang gud.. aron wala kaayo problema ba.. haay!
i wish i'm somebody, that i am another person, someone a little numb when it comes to love. i really wish i am someone like that...