*sigh

i wanna say i'm okay, that everything's going just fine, but how? things are getting heavier and i cannot conceal it any longer. i wanna hate myself for the things that's happening, but who else would love me if i, myself would choose to hate who i am?

i'm trying so hard to act strong, to be strong but i'm not getting stronger each day. i'm on the verge of breaking down and giving up, but i thought, that wouldn't help it either. *sigh!

he's not helping and i can't do anything about that. he wants to be happy, then let him have his happiness. pfft!

i'm so confused. God, please help me... i know you're the only one who can help me with this..