uncertainties

i just don't get it. i don't understand my life.. it's like everything's becoming so blurry and unclear. part of it, yeah, i love some part of it.. but mostly? i just hate it. myself.. i hate myself.. i don't like the way i am.. i am not good enough. i don't do anything right.. i don't have anything i can be proud of. except for the fact that i am a good lover hahaha but besides that, nothing. nothing else feels right..

i dropped out of school. because i don't like it being there anymore.. i don't like seeing a lot of people and talking and connecting to them. and worse, i don't know why i am acting like this.. maybe i lost my sanity.. which is really really really bad and sad hahaha

my boyfriend, he doesn't know that i dropped out because one thing's for sure, he'll be so mad at me if he'd know about it. my gahd! haaay BOO HOO!!!

right now, i just wanna be in a place where no one knows me.. i wanna go sou lsearching and all. maybe i need that. haay i just hope i'd get the chance to do that. i wanna fix everything in my life..